I've lost count of how many cousins I have...however, being that my mom alone has 13 brothers and sisters, suffice it to say there are a lot. And now they're getting married...and having kids. Even with social media, it's hard to keep up with who's who. But Facebook gives me a chance to get to know them and for them to get to know me, so that when we do have reunions we'll already be at least a little familiar with one another.
I have another family, most of whom I haven't even met, on my biological father's side. I have tried to reach out to them, to get to know them, to let them know I even exist. Once upon a time this would have never been possible; if we don't have to remain strangers, then I would prefer we didn't.
Then there are the hundreds of friends going all the way back to elementary school up to the present. I love reuniting with people I haven't seen in years. I enjoy getting to know you as adults. I value all the different things I learn from you. It broadens my mind and enriches my world to see how other people think, what other people enjoy, and how other people do things.
I post in an effort to share a bit of myself. I share honest glimpses into my world to show the ways that my life isn't perfect. I share photos of my kids so that my family will feel as if we aren't quite so far away. I share things that I find interesting, thinking that maybe you will be intrigued as well. I share things that are cute in hopes that it will make you smile or laugh. I share things that I am passionate about in an attempt to educate, not to persuade. I thought that by posting things about ADHD, end of life care, social justice issues, religion, politics, you might see things in a way you hadn't seen them before. You may understand me or someone else you know a bit better. You may find that we are passionate about similar things.
It is always my intention to do good. I try not to gossip. I try not to be hateful. I try to keep my anger in check. I try to keep my mind open. I do try to BE THE CHANGE. I see a world so divided. I see people writing truly HATEFUL things about their fellow man. I try to bridge some of the gaps by showing compassion or empathy. I try to see things from other perspective's. And I try to share various perspectives in the hopes of encouraging empathy to spread.
But something has gone terribly wrong in the world and I don't like being in Facebook land anymore. As cute as the panda videos are, they are not enough to offset the poison that I allow to infiltrate my spirit every time I log on. Facebook is not where I need to put my energy in order to "be the change." It has become a toxic environment for me and I need to do a better job of guarding my heart.
I don't know what my next step will be. I have thought about deactivating my account. I have thought about deleting everyone but family from my friends list. I don't know. I just know that this used to feel good, but now it's more painful that pleasurable.
The poem "Desiderata" sums up so well the life that I want to live. And so much of it stands in stark contrast to what Facebook brings into my world. Facebook has become vexatious to my spirit. There was life before social media...and I'm old enough to remember it. I may have to get back to a life of pen and paper...or at least emails. You reap what you sow. In the garden of my soul, I do not want to reap the fruits of all the contention, animosity, violence, divisiveness, and hatred that I am exposed to online. And right now, I don't have the self-discipline to look away. I get drawn in to the injustices and the unfairness and the lack of empathy. Enough is enough.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
Max Ehrmann, "Desiderata"
